I hid it all at the bottom of a bottle,
Under a shiny round of all my favorite drugs.
I pushed back so far that I completely forgot,
I ever loved your smile.
I buried it by the beach we never got to visit,
Where I forgot I was supposed to hold your hand.
I sat and cried but I never knew what for
While I drew little question marks in the sand
I burned our future before I knew what it was,
And told myself to forget your name.
I took all the pills and drowned them with the cheapest vodka,
Till I laid on the floor and wondered why I was so scared.
And when I woke, covered in cold sweat and fever
I couldn’t remember how I got there
Or what all those tears were for.
Only that something had to change.
I hid it so well
I forgot I knew you at all.