“It’s just the wine talking.” She thought as she stretched across the flouncy mushroom. “Pretty fucking strong stuff though.” It was so soft, she could sink into it the way she sank into that hotel bed in Paris before those thugs broke in …
“Nope. Not going there.” The mushroom bounced and waved. “This is fun. Bouncing on a fucking mushroom. No one’s going to believe me.” She bounced higher with each gentle movement of the mushroom. Each new height brought new views beyond the garden of mushrooms.
First there was a garden wall of flowers. “Like a rainbow.” She giggled. The reds bled into the blues and the blues into the yellows forming every color in between.
Then there was a castle, like something from a fairytale. She cackled with joy, “Of fucking course!”
But beyond the castle something else stirred. A cloud of heavy green gas that swirled and heaved. Although she couldn’t be close enough she swore she could taste the sour air. “Oh shit.” She gagged as the mushroom launched towards the ground.
“Ah shit, she fell off the fucking thing.” A caterpillar with eight feet and only six shoes stared down at her.
“Well, don’t leave her there! Pick ‘er up!” The caterpillars second mouth demanded.
“Can’t, I ain’t got no arms.” The caterpillar kicked two of his shoed feet towards her to accent the fact that his arms were missing.
“Ugh, good fer nothin’! Ronny! Ronny! Bring your fat ass in here and give her more! Bitch is squirming around the floor.”
“Ronny!” The whole situation struck her as completely hilarious. The caterpillars two mouths contorted into some expression of twisted dismay. “Ronny!” She cackled again.
“I’m comin’.” A slug with one eye open and one eye closed holding a pine needle slid towards them slowly.
“Well take your sweet fuckin’ time.” The caterpillars second mouth chastised.
“You can just fuck right off.” The slug moved around her leaving a ring of clear goo. “Get me her arm then.”
“Can’t.” The caterpillar’s first mouth repeated. “Ain’t got no arms.” The slugs one open eye blinked slowly.
“Right then.” He wrapped a thick tentacle like arm around her wrist and held her arm into the air. “Just a prick.” His fat slug tongue licked his thin lips as he plunged the pine needle into her arm.
“Motherfucker! Just a prick! That hurt like ….”
“Shit. Do you think we gave her too much?”
Ronny shrugged. “Who cares as long as we get the ransom money.”
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