Edna twisted the chains with her aged knotted hands. It was strange, she thought, how people attached memories to such seemingly insignificant things.
“When I was younger …”
Suddenly, she was falling away; slipping through time and space. Shanghai-La, she thought, always attached to these chains.
She scrunched her eyes closed and let the tide take her. It was like falling through water; warm, peaceful, silent.
Then it wasn’t.
Edna’s eyes burst open. There were storm clouds on the horizon beyond her father’s new truck. She turned the chains in her now youthful fingers, “So funny the memories we cling to.”
PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy
Many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields who wrangles in Friday Fictioneers every week.
Time warp? That was so fast I had to go back and read it again 🙂 Nice take.
Thank you! Yes, time travel/time warp. I think I probably need more than 100 words to really convey what’s happening in it.
I very much enjoyed the story but wasn’t clear on who or what is Shanghai-La. I really love time slips in writing.
Thank you for reading! Yes, I thought about removing that line because I wasn’t sure it would make complete sense. 🤔 I’m going to continue writing on this one and see what it turns into.
Great to continue with it – FF has a way of producing good longer stories that way. (I did wonder if you could use Shangri-La to imply the perfect world). Good rewriting, Kelley 🙂
Enjoyed your take on the photo prompt, even though it confused me a little bit. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you for reading! It seems to be the general opinion that this one was a little confusing. I was trying to stick to the 100 word count but I didn’t put the right details in, I think. I’m going to work on it some because I like the idea
Would love to read a longer version to get the background about how and why the time travel is happening. Nice snippet.
https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/21/s-is-for-siauliai-lithuania/
Thank you for reading
I was a little confused at first, thinking she was just reminiscing but now I know it was a time travel it all makes sense. Interesting to see how you develop it
Thank you for reading
From the comments I can see you were trying something very ambitious. It almost works, and gives us some lovely moments on the way. I particularly liked “It was like falling through water; warm, peaceful, silent.” followed so closely by its denial “Then it wasn’t.”. That captures the sense of dislocation of the time traveller perfectly. I like your writing, Kelley!
Thank you Penny! When I was writing I kept adding then deleting and rewording. This one, I think, will get a rewrite soon
I was thinking it went a little Benjamin Button there…
Thank you for reading … Benjamin button would be an interesting take
Glad you think so!
Great take and such a twist at the end. Well done.