Posted in friday fictioneers


She appeared in the music shop window. An enigmatic child before Christmas breathing slow circles of lust across the glass. Day after day she faded in and out, inching closer to the gold plated door handles. Her rats nest hair, highlighted by shimmering grey, and clanging camping pots scared patrons away.

The day she finally slid her dirty fingers across the grand piano keys we knew. Whatever she unleashed, it was beauty the world wouldn’t be ready for. 

People looked on. Phones took video. It wasn’t long before every mind became captivated. 

We haven’t seen her in months now.

PHOTO PROMPT © Anshu Bhojnagarwala

Word Count: 98
Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.


Letters from inside my head

20 thoughts on “Captivate

    1. I didn’t have enough words to finish! In my mind she either was scared by the attention and disappeared again or she let it absorb her and became well known and famous. Both could be why they haven’t seen her. Thank you for reading!


  1. She’s an intriguing character. Wonderful description of her scaring the patrons away. II can just see it. And then the big surprise with the piano, and then I’m pondering just who she is, and was. Very good. Pulled me right in.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve written a fascinating story, Kelley. The ‘enigmatic child’, who has hair ‘highlighted by shimmering grey’; the ‘slow circles of lust’; ‘beauty the world wouldn’t be ready for’. I like the association of the ‘child’ with Christmas, carrying resonances of the Christ-child born into the poorest of circumstances.
    Perhaps, indeed, your story is an allegory of the birth of Jesus, with your closing sentence concluding that the poor child, the bringer of beauty, is not visible in contemporary consumer society.

    Liked by 1 person

Why not tell me what you think ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.