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QPD – Gentle

Quarantined forever – self portrait AKA selfie

One thing I’ve had to battle with, throughout my adult life, but also during this weird period is being gentle with myself. I wasn’t raised in that typical environment and I’ve always been really harsh with myself because of things I picked up from that environment.

It’s not unusual for me get to down and think some pretty awful things about myself. During this stay at home/quarantine period I find those thoughts popping up more often. I’m keeping busy but it doesn’t seem to be enough to stop them.

This has really turned into a practice of being gentle with myself and recognizing those thoughts when they pop up so I can counter them.

Anyone else having to battle nagging negative thoughts? Any tips?

Author:

Letters from inside my head

8 thoughts on “QPD – Gentle

  1. I think the best thing is to do something you really enjoy doing.. with no guilt. One thing this isolation has helped me with is taking some time each day when I am not “doing” anything..For me that means swinging in the hammock with Morrie on my stomach and Diego to pat with the other hand so there is no room for a computer! I sometimes talk to myself in the mirror..like a big sister to myself. I’ve been know to say, “Just stop it!” when I’m having negative thoughts. There are different parts of us within us. I guess when this gets really out of hand it’s called bipolar, but I think in a less-excessive part of ourselves it is natural to have different parts. Mine talk to me when I write or do art! Just try to be as good a friend to yourself as you are to your best friend, Kelley.

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    1. Thank you for the advice. I’ve been known to talk to myself in the mirror too. A while ago I was given various supportive phrases you could say to yourself, but I stopped telling myself those. Maybe I’ll find the list and go back to that as well.

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  2. I’m lucky to still be working, though with fewer hours, because we sell our product to hospitals. But to keep away the cabin fever I go out for walks, or a jog if I’m up for it, or a bicycle ride (which I have to do anyway because I currently don’t own a car). I’ve also spent more time working on my various writing projects so that’s a positive. Is the lockdown especially tough where you’re at or are you able to get out? I think that makes a big difference.

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    1. I’m still working remotely as well and I think that’s part of the down attitude I have. The stress is huge right now. I actually took yesterday off because I feared I’d quit if I didn’t get a break from it. The lockdown here isn’t as bad as other areas but we still have a good amount of cases. I like to get out and walk the dogs. I’ve also been keeping up with my yoga almost every day and writing projects. It definitely helps when I’m working on something to keep my mind busy. Thank you for the comment.

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  3. Not sure if you’ll find this helpful, but I’ve been learning about ‘defusing’ negative thoughts instead of countering them, because sometimes trying to argue against a thought winds up with me believing it even more. Defusing is basically just accepting that it’s only a thought – a story that our brain is trying to tell us – and we don’t have to believe it to be true just because it popped into our heads. When a negative thought comes up, I try to reframe it by thinking, “I notice I’m having the thought that…” Or another tactic is to sing the thought to a tune like Happy Birthday or For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow, which feels a bit silly but it does sort of take the sting out of it and reminds me that the thought is really just a bunch of words in my head that I can ignore if I want to.

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    1. Yes! Arguing with them does not always end up better. Can you imagine if everyone walked around singing their negative thoughts to the tune of Happy Birthday? I may try it. I’ll also work on defusing the thoughts instead of arguing. Thank you for the suggestions.

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