Posted in stream of consciousness, Word Prompt

Tranquil/Disparage & Coffee

RDP: Tranquil
FOWC: Disparage

Some days I suck down my coffee like it’s the only thing keeping me alive.

You would think I started young, a precocious 5 year old drinking coffee with her father or a 12 year old hiding in the corner of a Starbucks with her friends. I’m here to tell you, no. I started drinking this glorified bean juice when I was 27, only after years of my partner at the time guzzling down 2+ pots a day.

I was tired and sluggish and thought well if it keeps him going, but in this a phenomena unfolded.

I didn’t want him to know. If drinking coffee brought me tranquility I just knew he would disparage it. In my mind he was already painting it as an idolization of him.

I hid my growing habit, carefully deciding when I could partake and when I should go without. But I also found myself watching, watching his coffee habits, his preferred brands and taking notes for myself. Eventually his presence faded away but many of these stolen habits stayed.

Photo: Pexel’s photo library
Photo shows latte art of a flower

Author:

Letters from inside my head

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