Posted in Coaching

Impermanence

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of impermanence lately. The thought that change is the only constant has come up in my sessions, my conversations and life in general over and over.

I’ve been in places in life where I felt stuck, like nothing would ever change, but everything always changes right? Maybe we’re scared of it, scared to fully step into it, scared of the unknown aspects of it …

I like to think I’m excellent at going with the flow but as I look around at things that have needed to change or have tried to change but met my resistance, I realize maybe I’m not.

Maybe I’m scared of what these changes mean for me. If you find yourself feeling stuck, ask yourself, what does this change mean to me? What’s holding me back from it?

Posted in Coaching

Hey Baby, The Christmas Tree’s Still Up

It’s March, not like early, still cold March either. It’s mid – here comes summer – March. 

Every day since December 25th, I’ve walked past our Christmas tree and thought about taking it down. Every day I ignored it in favor of some other task/s that had to be completed. Back at the beginning of March, when there was still a hint of chill in the air I called my daughter into the room and told her we were either taking it down or we were putting Easter eggs on it. 

I let that decision hang in the air for a couple of weeks before finally committing. Then I dragged the kid out into the world she has secluded herself from for the past year and bought plastic eggs and metallic sharpies. 

We sat in the middle of the living room with tacos and a clue board game while watching ICarly reruns and decorating the eggs. 

It would have been less work to just take the tree down but it would have been far less fun. 

After a year of constant uncertainty which has ravaged much of my own, and everyone else’s, creative energy I just can’t imagine choosing the mundane option. I can’t embrace the idea that what used to be “normal” is the only acceptable thing. 

If anything, this past year has given me the ability to truly see what it means to look beyond “this is the way we’ve always done it”, a glimpse of a future that is far from our old “normal” but so much more satisfying. These little moments of creativity, of thinking beyond the box, even about something seemingly minor have the power to propel us into something far bigger. We have a choice, not only in this year but in every year, to choose how far we want to wander and how much we want to explore. We get stuck in the idea that our creative solutions have to be big but truly they just have to be impactful and the size of your idea is not a measure of how much impact it could have. 

Ask yourself, are you opting for what we’ve always done? Are you scared that your ideas aren’t big enough? Consider instead, what impacts do these things have? What is the cost of the way we’ve always done things and what do you see when you step beyond that normal, no matter how small it seems?

Posted in Coaching

What is Coaching?

I’ve been writing about coaching lately but I haven’t really explained what coaching is.

I’ve found that people have very different definitions of coaching. In my case coaching is the process of guiding someone to the answers they have within themselves.

It’s something often overlooked. We have the answers to our own questions/problems/desires. Sometimes we’re scared of them. Sometimes we can’t quite connect the dots between them. Sometimes we have to dig for them. Coaching facilitates those processes.

For me, coaching is about what you need or want and how to help you get there.

In talking to the community at large about coaching and what someone needs and wants creatively from a coach and coaching relationship, I’ve been given a lot of good points.

Now I’m asking you guys!

If you were to hire a coach to help you creatively, whether it’s writing, another creative endeavor or bringing creative thought/processes into your job or life, what are some things you would want to be coached on. What qualities would you look for in a coach?

Posted in Coaching, Word Prompt

If there are no challenges, only opportunity …

If we believe every situation is an opportunity then what do we call this weeks pivotal moment?

In case you’re unfamiliar with the dumpster fire that has been US politics, let me give a brief explanation.

Trump held a rally, near the capitol, on the same day the vote was expected to be certified for Biden. He riled his followers up, as he has done for 4+ years, and they stormed the capitol. An angry mob of domestic terrorists broke into the building and vandalized it.

I watched it unfold in real time. As much as I wanted, I could not turn off the news.

I asked myself hundreds of questions.

But one recurring thought was “where are the police? where’s the national guard? These people literally have our capitol under siege.”

I know I’m not the only one who thought back to the protests in the wake of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor.

If we should find the opportunity in every situation … what was the opportunity here?

Maybe people who had told themselves Trump’s rhetoric wasn’t really that bad could finally see just how bad it is.

Maybe people finally saw systemic racism, or a lack thereof for this mob, in action.

It made me think of personal moments where things seemed dark and I wondered if sometimes the opportunity doesn’t fully show itself until afterwards. It was there, maybe we unknowingly followed it, but we didn’t realize it.

So I’m asking you, readers, how do you find the opportunity in moments that seem to have nothing but darkness to offer?

Because this was on the mind of many, I linked the RDP word of the day, mob.

Posted in Coaching

Energy – An Intro

Let’s talk about energy. 

We all possess it, manipulate it and even desire it. 

Energy isn’t inherently good or bad but our perceptions can color the energy we’re receiving and putting back out.

For example, you feel down, stuck, the world is against you … that becomes the energy you exude and in turn the energy you attract back to you. 

Being at a low energy shifts our perspective to the more negative things in life. There can be plenty of good but at a low energy there’s a higher chance you miss it or perceive it as not good.

Coaching is about helping one raise that energy level. A coach can guide you through negative beliefs that affect your perception and help you create new beliefs that support a higher energy level. 

This is one of the things that has fascinated me about coaching because it’s something I have seen play out in myself and others. 

I also think it’s important to recognize that you have to do the work in these situations. Sitting around waiting for an improvement to just fall into your lap does not work. Additionally, if you perceive most things as negative then you’re less likely to dive in and do the work necessary to get what you want.

We have to take tangible steps towards raising our energy and getting the things we truly desire in life.

Coaching brings this full circle by allowing me to help others do the work which I find amazingly fulfilling. It gives me the tools needed to bring my “hippie energy” mindset into a realm of using it to concretely help others. 

The whole energy aspect of this coach training (and coaching in general) has been one of my favorite parts. I feel like I could write something way more comprehensive on it but I also don’t want to get too long winded in my posts.

Posted in Coaching

New Things

Last year I received a dream book and planner for Christmas. The beginning of the book is a very comprehensive review of your life and what you want. For my life purpose, I wrote that it was “to help others through creativity”. It’s vague but I was a much more vague person at the beginning of the year.

Now, at the end of the year, the planner has a place to review things you planned and, once again, review yourself against what you wrote at the beginning of the year. The whole point is to help one move forward in what they truly want. A kick in the ass so to speak which I desperately needed.

As I go through and read my intentionally vague answers from Jan 2020 I know I’ve changed this year. I think it would be acceptable to say this year has changed everybody in some way. 

A couple of weekends ago I sat through 30 hours of coach training, something that I know aligns with my goals and what I want out of my life. I had to persuade myself to take the jump but I could argue pre 2020 Kelley may not have done it at all. 

For the next couple of months I’m going to share some of the things I’m learning through my coach training process. I’ll still be putting up creative writings too but I hope you guys enjoy the little foray into this new piece of my life.