Posted in stream of consciousness

Sometimes He’s a Man

There’s a wolf in my closet.

Sometimes he’s a man.

He watches me through a crack in the door.

I can feel his eyes

Surveying my naked body.

He licks his lips,

Waits for me to leave,

Then he slips out,

Crouched low like hanging smoke

And molests my things.

I hear crashes in the bathroom

And run to find the culprit

But he sinks back into the shadows

And watches me.

I catch him out of the corner of my eye

Shifting in shards of light.

Sometimes he hides beneath my bed

And waits till I’m asleep. 

Then he slides his fingers,

Light as a breeze,

Along my spine.

I worry one day he’ll rip it out.

If I haven’t been quiet enough.

My friends think I’m crazy,

But they won’t spend the night.

This is part 1 which has morphed into part 2 (more flash fiction, less poem). Photo is from the WordPress library.

Posted in stream of consciousness

What Am I Good At?

Taking a little bit of a different path today.

What am I good at?

I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately because I haven’t felt that I’m actually good at anything. In search of answers I took to Dr. Google, why not? My searching was promptly rewarded with an article asking what skills you developed as a child or throughout your life. My initial response was comprised of things like “I like to write,” but the article encouraged me to dig deeper. It wanted to find things that were developed out of necessity but never really considered in the context of “I’m good at that.”

It aligns with something else I’ve been attempting lately. I wake up every day and I find things that I’m proud of, things that I like or things that I’m good at. I give myself a little mantra and pep talk and go on with my day. 

These things are important to me because I was raised to have practically no self-esteem. I was bullied in school, bullied at home; when I was younger I felt completely void. As far as I was concerned I was safe nowhere and no one would care if I wasn’t there anymore. 

That doesn’t translate into the healthiest adulthood. Thinking of skills I learned out of necessity in childhood I often myself thinking more of weaknesses. 

Giving it some deeper thought I found the things I thought were weaknesses or completely useless are worth something. 

I’m extremely resilient. I’ve spent my life constantly adjusting to changing rules and expectations. As a result, I can change pace, path, vision in an instant and remain calm in the middle of it. I never realized my resilience was a skill worth noting until I joined a job where mental gymnastics and constant changes of pace were a requirement every second of the day.  

I can cook. Cooking is a stress reliever for me. I can take ingredients laying around in the pantry and turn them into something palatable easily. I learned to cook early in life, starting with frozen foods thrown into the oven for my family dinner (kitchen 101!) By middle school I understood the concepts of cooking and flavor well enough to improvise (kitchen creative for beginners!).

When I put more thought into it I clearly see where these are skills to celebrate but the key is reminding myself to own them and celebrate them.

What are your strengths? Do you have skills you’ve learned throughout life that you haven’t normally considered?

Posted in stream of consciousness, Word Prompt

Is It You After All?

Memories are fickle little things
I watch your gait as you move through a crowd
Is it you after all?
Your laugh and your gaze
Ignite flames but the lighter clicks
And never catches hold
Of my stray dreams and gut feelings
Whenever I smell sweet smoke
Or the slightest whiff of your voice in monotone over my stereo.
Perhaps we need it this way
Perhaps time has bound our brains.

Ragtag Daily Prompt: Strain

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