Posted in stream of consciousness, Word Prompt

Broken Bottle of Whine (Repost)

By some twist in irony this is exactly a year old and somehow it’s relevant again. Cycles, full circle, something. Thanks for partaking in my whine.

Sometimes I wish I could be the mom
That my father claims I am.
Shitty and repulsive
With no other care.
I couldn’t be the person
In the narrative he keeps,
The story he likes to tell about me.
The daughter that left her child.
The daughter that only comes around for money.
The daughter that only cares about the next party.
Tonight I’ll try to convince myself
All these things I do aren’t just for show.
I’ll wish I were beautiful.
I’ll wish I were smart.
I’ll wish I hadn’t broken your heart.
I’ll tell myself everyone’s proud of me.
Tonight I’ll sit on my bathroom floor
With my broken bottle of whine
And cry myself to sleep.
So when I wake tomorrow
It will all just be a bad dream
And my bottle of my whine
Will be poised on the counter neatly,
Waiting to be filled with
Broken expectations and unfulfilled dreams,
Bad words and ugly names,
Until it overflows and needs to be broken again.
Then I’ll sit on my bathroom floor
With the weight of this world,
Frothing and rushing,
Threatening to drown me
But never winning out.

Posted in stream of consciousness

Where Have You Gone

I comb my drafts for moments when I was real.
A crumb trail back to seconds I couldn’t feel.
I throwback sour liquors and sweet wines, one small glass at a time.
I tell myself the rest can flood the drain if these will just numb the brain.
I wish my life away, churning day dreams.
I wait for the moment when my soul detangles from yours
When I can no longer feel your heart ache in my bones.
I’m afraid
If I can’t feel, you’ll cease to be real.

Posted in stream of consciousness

Seed

I swallowed a seed
Completely on accident you see
It nestled to the folds of my being
Grew within me
Ivy limbs sprinted for the Sun
I wanted to tell you not to be afraid
But my tongue is replaced
And bark hardens my veins.

Photo: Cal Redback – to see more of his work click here

Posted in stream of consciousness

Today You Won

Today I wondered
What I’d done to survive this long.
How have I
Kept seeing blue skies?
Thoughts kept quiet,
Crept steadily forward.
You weren’t there
But I felt you at my back.
Your voice becomes
The beat to my degenerative drum.
Today, you won.

Posted in stream of consciousness

An Ode to Black (Repost)

“Head like a hole. Black as your soul …”

I like the color black.

I wear it frequently.

All my dresses are black,

Except for that red one.

My shoes too,

Except that pair of brown boots

Or those dark blue ones.

When I was in high school,

I wore black eye make up

But I didn’t hang out with the goth kids.

The real depressed girl

Who actually listened to industrial

And not Marilyn Manson

Was too goth for them.

I like my coffee black,

With just a little bit of cream.

I like my rebels black

With their motorcycle screams.

I like my nails

About nine inches long

And now you have

To start at the beginning of the song.

Once again I’m reposting. This was originally published in … maybe about a year ago in 2018 I think and the WordPress prompt of the day was Black. I couldn’t help myself back then and I can’t help myself today. Tell me about your favorite music?

Posted in stream of consciousness

Topsy Turvy

People are a little weird.
That’s the mantra of this town.
Specters and night crawlers
With thigh high make up
In star bowler company
Smoke infinitely long rings of mood dust.
Then there was me
And you
Collapsing across peeling laminate counter tops
And day old sandwiches
With the the bread always toasted.
How one falls
In this topsy turvy place,
From barstools to backseats.
Or bedsheets.
Up?
I suppose it only makes sense.
This has never been the city of dreams
But we liked to pretend.
And why not?
There always has been,
There always will be,
More ways to fall in love.