When I was 18 I got so drunk that my friends thought I was going to die. I went limp, crumpled onto the floor like a discarded shirt.
As you do, in some realms of fantasy when your friend may be dying, they stripped my clothes and tossed me into the shower then set to planning.
How could they handle this? How could they keep from getting in trouble? After all, I was certainly not supposed to be drinking.
“I know!” I’m sure one of them said. “Let’s put her on the curb and call 911.”
Let it be known, my friends weren’t the most brilliant because it was January in a very north eastern state and the curb was a snow bank they could lose me in.
The rising water in the tub nearly choked me as my friends tried to wrangle my wet body. I tried to breathe but at first my lungs just wouldn’t expand.
“We thought you were dead!” Their gazes passed over my cold naked body. “We were going to leave you outside.”
“That the best idea you had?”
Drunk and nearly dead I managed to wonder if it was too late to look for new friends.
I want to believe
In subtle moments
Strung between you and me.
You breathe sideways
A movement pregnant with meaning
To the needle of my mind
I stumbled over the core of my being
Face first I dive into pillows of the softest despair,
Broken down with years of fear and tears.
Bind the blankets to my sighing mouth,
Muffle the muted screams which never escape anyhow.
Imagine the fibers stretching down my throat,
Tying the ducts of lungs, rendering my breath obsolete
Paralyzing my heartbeat.
Stray strings climb through my nose,
Embedding in my brain, shutting down the ultra violet grandiose,
Channeling me to white noise,
Now escaping my vocal chords, commingling with silent sobs.
Vibrations in universal, numerological and runological,
Strive to stir the silent heartbreak within.
Defibrillation for the soul shredded, billowing in the wind
Unable to catch the stray pieces floating away again.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Suddenly is all we ever were.
Suddenly friends, lovers, soul mates.
Suddenly alone in the night and in our fight.
We always said “you and me”,
Two against the world.
But the world kept spinning
While our story crumbled between our fingers.
Suddenly I’m lost
In your eyes and smile.
Suddenly I can’t breathe when you look at me.
Suddenly is all we’ll ever be.
Spinning, spinning and we all fall down.
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There’s a man at my door.
He’s not moving anymore.
He just stares,
Icy blue and brown,
Through the concrete
There’s a man at my window.
He’s not breathing anymore.
He just taps,
Clicky clack and double rap,
Through the pane
There’s a man in my room.
He’s here with me.
He just stands,
Staring and stroking my cheek,
Through my skin,
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