Theres something in the air
A murmur
Breaking from the sky
Electric shocks and torrential downpours
Splitting my silk tongue
Frayed ends tickle the throat
Tie up the lungs
Filling the belly with silken worms
Theres something in the air
A murmur
Breaking from the sky
Electric shocks and torrential downpours
Splitting my silk tongue
Frayed ends tickle the throat
Tie up the lungs
Filling the belly with silken worms
I can’t think
So I peel away my skin
Long strips of thought
I can’t hope to hold onto
Though we hope things will get better soon we still have so many steps to go. I hope everyone is doing ok.
My heart’s stuck
On repeat
Of a moment
As good as made up
I signed up for more but it seems they lost the paperwork.
I can reason it away.
What’s life but missed words?
I’d cancel early but the fee is too high.
Sorry for my lack of anything lately. I’ve been busy, stressed … insanely tired, etc.
I am a study in the degradation of the human soul. Precisely measured and trapped by each small piece of past gathering dust on my clutter laden shelves.
Spaces of consequence are eternally lumbered from deceit to deceit as I pretend in a mirror and proclaim myself a minimalist.
Ounces of effort leak from joints and jowls too slow to understand and too burdened to disagree.
I struggle to settle, fight against the outlines of a person bearing my name. I grasp for dreams while never believing they belong to me.
This canvas, blank and forever in states of disaster, is a space defiled until I learn.
These walls are mine, mine alone, and there is no blaring sign declaring “space for rent” across my skin.
I’m stuck in gray matter
Mud weighing on my boots
If memories can be trusted
Then I can believe in you
I don’t mean to say it so much
But sometimes this world *d*ucking sucks.
And when I’m frustrated
I don’t really want my phone to trade my violent words
For small feathery creatures,
Perhaps in hopes it will quell raging digits.
Somehow it works and I laugh at the absurdity
Of our materialism
And our in love yet in loathe relationships
With AI and short fuses.
Then I think of you
And my words come to a jumbling, clotting stop
Because I’ve long preferred making myself small
In hopes that avoidance of everything big
Will render me no more than the innocent bystander to a life
I’ve never felt in control of.
Maybe I’ve always believed I didn’t deserve the beauty you gave me.
It doesn’t erase the emptiness,
Or the memories of the last time I truly felt home etched in my soul.
But I can’t type “fuck” because iPhone prefers ducks.
I comb my drafts for moments when I was real.
A crumb trail back to seconds I couldn’t feel.
I throwback sour liquors and sweet wines, one small glass at a time.
I tell myself the rest can flood the drain if these will just numb the brain.
I wish my life away, churning day dreams.
I wait for the moment when my soul detangles from yours
When I can no longer feel your heart ache in my bones.
I’m afraid
If I can’t feel, you’ll cease to be real.
I swallowed a seed
Completely on accident you see
It nestled to the folds of my being
Grew within me
Ivy limbs sprinted for the Sun
I wanted to tell you not to be afraid
But my tongue is replaced
And bark hardens my veins.
Photo: Cal Redback – to see more of his work click here
Today I wondered
What I’d done to survive this long.
How have I
Kept seeing blue skies?
Thoughts kept quiet,
Crept steadily forward.
You weren’t there
But I felt you at my back.
Your voice becomes
The beat to my degenerative drum.
Today, you won.