Posted in stream of consciousness

Aqui.

It’s that time again!

Prompt – Present

Music – Pete Rock – Petestrumentals

Are you present?

Aqui.

Are we ever really?

This week has me wondering when the last time I really sat down and chose to be present in the moment was.

And what did it teach me?

Have you ever tried it?

Through meditation?

The hardest thing about meditation for me at first was clearing my mind.

It’s amazing how hard that can be.

We all have moments where we zone out and I guess sometimes we like to think of that as clearing the mind but it’s not really is it?

In my case I’m zoning out because there’s something very much there, standing heavy on my mind.

Definitely not clear.

I remember one of the techniques I learned was to think in images, not words, then clear those images away.

Put them away into boxes or whatever so that you can clear that space in your mind.

Do you know how hard it is to make a conscious effort to think without words?

It’s harder than you’d imagine it’d be.

Once you get better at it you’re supposed to be able to take this practice into daily life.

You can meditate while doing the most under appreciated things like walking or eating …

Concentrate on your step, how your foot hits the ground and moves you forward.

Do you really want to move forward?

What are you walking away from?

Towards?

What about your food, what does it taste like?

Hopefully not cheap corrugated plastic.

Do you remember the eyes of the person you love?

The exact way the colors of their iris flow into each other?

Or the way their eyes squint and the skin creases at the corners when they laugh.

How about their smile?

When they’re staring off into space, zoned out, and smiling to themselves,

Do you remember the way their lips curve?

How about the feel of their hand in yours?

Or their arms around you?

Do you remember the way their hair smells when you have them pulled close?

Time’s up.

Posted in stream of consciousness

Numbered Days 4/365

My heart could be filled

But truth be told …

My days are numbered here.

This disease is terminal.

The doctors don’t know what to do.

“Well,” he says as he raps spindly hands

“You can’t stay forever in the land of the damned.”

Indeed Father Time.

It appears I’ve been diagnosed with life.

I can’t stop my feet from wandering

Or my mind from pandering

The sweet effects of a sunset over the sea.

I suddenly, it seems, have things

I need to be

Rather than this old burnt out bag of flesh

And crumbling calcium deposits collected for me.

So tell me dear, tell me love

You know our days are numbered here …

Posted in stream of consciousness

Street of Dreams

WordPress Daily Prompt – Dubious

I don’t know that I’ll ever understand
Why I do this to myself.
I know where this path leads,
This dubious street filled with dreams.
I walk it over and over,
Shuffling through the shattered memories.
They poke and they prod,
Stirring the most sensitive parts of me.
Yet I have no right,
I shut myself out here.
I broke your heart
You did nothing to me.
So I stand here on the curb,
Watching these abandoned memories.
I think of all the times I should have said
All those things I know I didn’t say before.
I’m ok,
It’s just that I know where this dubious street leads
And these silly dreams …
Well you know me, head in the clouds
But this street is always so silent
And what I would give to hear
Another soul on this street of dreams.