Posted in stream of consciousness

Chase Them Away

It’s Sunday, I’m still working out a good opening here.

Prompt – Congregate

Music – Pink Floyd – Meddle

*Started writing, forgot to start timer, delete, start timer*

Congregate

Congregation.

I don’t go to church.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise.

When I was 15 my parents moved from a city area to a much more rural area.

I went from a performing arts high school to an agricultural one

I didn’t even know that was a thing …

One day I was on the bus

I took my headphones out at the request of a boy who was wearing a fish hook on his hat and had a clump of dip in his lip

I can’t remember what he asked but the subject turned to religion

To which I responded “I don’t know, I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church.”

At the time, if I had to put a name to some idea of religious practices, then I’d say I was Pagan.

Poor guy was floored.

“I thought you were a good Christian girl!”

I congregate in a different way.

I go to concerts.

One time I went because I thought maybe the music would be loud enough to drown the bullshit in my head.

Now I can’t always understand what you’re saying in normal settings and I go to shows to drown myself under the sound.

Let it wash over me and take away all the self hate that can settle in my mind.

This morning I woke up and something just hit me, straight to my core.

I found myself thinking in terms of self hate, “pathetic piece of …”

I push those things away and congregate in big, or sometimes not big, raucous, sometimes not raucous, groups

To let loud melodies chase them away.


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Posted in stream of consciousness

Everybody’s Strange

Weekly Stream of Consciousness Writing – Prompt – Creature (oh wordpress, you get me).

Music: Samsara Blues Experiment – 2010 album Long Distance Trip

I’ve always been an odd creature.

When I was in middle school a boy in my class turned to me, moved really close and asked me if I turned into a cat in the middle of the night.

“Your eyes are cat eyes. Do you turn into a cat at night?”

“I don’t know, I’m asleep.”

That seemed reasonable enough for him.

I was always too kind, in elementary school it got me in trouble with bullies.

They needed someone to exploit. I was all too willing if it meant someone would be my friend.

I never quite felt like I fit in.

I still don’t although I’m more comfortable with it now.

I guess at a certain point you realize everyone is some form of odd.

We’re all strange.

Maybe that’s why I connected with “weird hippie music” so much.

Hendrix, Pink Floyd, The Doors … all artists that embraced the fact that people are weird.

I explored all kinds of alternative paths.

I abandoned the Christian religion I’d been raised in as a teenager and explored Pagan and Buddhist lifestyles instead.

That will throw people through a loop when your parents decide to relocate you from a diverse city area to a hick town at 15.

It is nice to realize clarity comes with age

To realize that maybe we’re all wrong

But if we’re all wrong I guess I really don’t want to be right.

I can be odd all day, nobodies going to change that.

Embrace it, it’s ok.

We’re wrong, we’re right, we’re strange.

Everybody’s strange.


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