Posted in Word Prompt

Vulgar

Razor sharp chords mixed with gritty voices float from inside dark clubs and crowded bars.

A homeless man swings his Gandalf like beard as he jives down the middle of the street. His ripped shirt blows open in the breeze; giving him an underdog superhero cape made of rips and stains. One good shoe crunches into the pavement while his bare foot escapes to swing free. With palms raised to his heaven, he smiles into the oncoming storm.

It reminds me of my mother’s face; not because his inner peace oozes into the atmosphere. I can see her wrinkling nose and hear her sucking in her breath between puckered lips. I can feel her eyes cutting into my skin as she judges me from beyond.

“Such vulgarity. Here among these people, these bars … Who are you? I don’t know anymore.”

She’s always been right. Though I model her skirts and simple knit tops I’ve never been the girl she craved I would be. I drop my bag and grab the mans knotted hands. Vulgar or not, we can dance til the end.

Word of the day: Vulgar
Music: A mix of instrumental (The Echelon Effect, Lights and Motion, Chad Lawson)

Posted in Word Prompt

Rivulets of Love (Repost)

Back in April the WordPress daily word was rivulet, today the word of the day challenge is rivulet so I’m sharing this one again.

Standing beside you silence is broken even when nothing is said. Funny isn’t it? The stars and the sky; did they dance and dive, bring cosmic planes of every color into a swirling whirling dance of lightening intensity before your eyes met mine?

Has the world always fallen silent at the beckon of your gasp, a movement so sudden and rasp, or was it just mine?

Strange thing isn’t it? To feel everything you’ve ever been step into the light of everything you’ll ever be, knowing no matter the fragility broken will never be … again …

Oh this feeling, again and again. Melodies in languages I fear I will never understand, kisses along paths I may never travel beneath moonlit branches otherworldly in their desire.

It dissipates but not into illusion, a dream of roses and foreign spring days. It sinks beneath the current, becoming the undertow, dragging us along in this sweet abandon, forever familiar. You are home. You are forever, over and over and over.

Such are the rivulets of love that stream from our silent smiles, glancing eyes, as we stand quiet, forever reaching in fear of loving alone the other.

Posted in Word Prompt

It’s Just Not Fashionable (Repost)

Repost from some point earlier in this blog and because I hear the news now and feel this is just as relevant:

There was a time, in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t that long ago, when my head was so fucking loud.

At any given second there were a thousand things all competing for a space on my mind. There was drama, loathing, negativity …

I hated everyone but most of all, above everything else, I hated myself.

I absolutely couldn’t stand myself and anytime a moment of pride, a good thought, a feeling of something well deserved, managed to sneak in … it only made me dig that dagger deeper.

I suffered from crippling depression. Killing myself was an almost daily thought although I never acted on it because I didn’t think I was worth the effort it would take to clean up.

It was more that I just wanted to disappear.

I wanted to go away but I wanted to do so in the least evasive way possible. Lest I find myself further inconveniencing others with my life, or lack thereof.

I couldn’t let myself have good things. In my mind I deserved the bad, I brought it down on myself like a wayward child purposely toppling case after case of books on themselves.

It hurt, I knew it would hurt but in my mind I deserved it.

And then one day something happened.

Something from my past came forward to find me. The universe so eloquently dropped it  right into my lap and reminded me that you can’t run from things that are meant to be a part of you.

I don’t know that I had ever cried as hard as I did in that moment.

I don’t know that I had ever felt the relief that I did in that moment.

I don’t know that I had ever felt anything in the way that I did in that moment.

After that I learned the art of being still and being quiet. I learned how to quiet my mind and how to bring myself peace. I learned to be ok with the times where I falter, because everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has days and moments and honestly that’s life with depression. It’s up and down and all around sometimes. I learned to steer myself instead of letting the noise in my head take the wheel.

All of this comes into sharp focus for me when I see things on TV that seem to glamorize things like suicide. TV shows that attempt to show it and explain it but do so in such teenage drama ways that they miss the point. Or when I see mass destruction, people driven by forces that are purely evil, raining terror down on others.

And I see ways that we could help these things, ways we could have real conversations but it’s fashionable, in some circles it seems, to be loud, to let the noise take the wheel. Those conversations will never happen when the noise is driving.

I don’t know how to implore the world to be still, to think, to be quiet then speak. I don’t know if we can and I honestly don’t if it would help but these days it seems like maybe the need for noise should fall out of fashion.

The word of the day at the time was fashionable.

The RDP prompt today is slippery which I also think is relevant because slippery slopes

Posted in Word Prompt

We Are Ladies (In All But Make)

I am frozen
A shadow against your light
A doubt
Buried under the weight of your greed
I’m all but cast aside
A pawn to be thrust every which way
Attending the needs
Which cloud my skies
I step lightly
Across your back
I stomp gently over the cracks
We are ladies in all but make
Soothe our skirts
Remind us again
With supple bruised skin
What’s at stake

Random word generator: product

Word of the day challenge yesterday was genesis

And the Ragtag Daily Prompt is articulate

All the birds with all the words.

Now I have to go back to work.

 

Posted in Word Prompt

Soaked To The Bone (Repost)

Repost from Sept 2017 (closer to a year ago than I thought!)

For the word of the day challenge yesterday, cacophony

It starts with a low buzzing
A light humming,
Echoing, bouncing, off the bricked walls of my mind.
Quickly it grows, a wildfire
Clanging and banging along the barred windows of my soul.
It can not be freed.
It will not be unleashed.
But the steady clash grows, a cacophonous symphony of chainsaws
Hacking away at the binding to the cement of my heart.
Reaching a crescendo,
There’s only one way to stop it now.
Ripping away at the flesh that holds us,
Stabbing forth the hearts that blind us,
The deeds are done, the buzz has gone,
Soaked to the bone,
In the blood of a crescendo.